🚧 Draft — not final. A generic, shareable version of this project's approach, published because it may help others. Give it a human edit before relying on it.

Keeping friendships on purpose — the method

Friendships rarely end in a fight; they end in a slow drift, each side assuming the other will call. This is a gentle, private method for refusing that drift — not a productivity hack for people, just a way to be the friend you mean to be. (Your actual list of people stays private; this is the reusable approach.)

1. Cadence, not obligation

List the people worth keeping close, each with an honest rhythm — weekly, monthly, a few times a year. The point isn't to contact everyone constantly; it's to never let the ones who matter drift by accident. A "few times a year" friend contacted three times a year is a friendship kept, not neglected.

2. "What matters to them right now"

The secret ingredient. Keep a line per person on what's going on in their life — the new job, the kid, the surgery, the move — so a call picks up where it left off. "How did the surgery go?" is worth ten "long time!"s.

3. The gentle nudge

Surface who's slipped past their cadence, and act on one or two this week. One message, no guilt — "you crossed my mind." That's the whole mechanism.

4. Show up for the moments

Mark the birthdays, the big dates, and the thing they're nervous about — and actually show up, ideally with a call rather than a text when it counts.

5. Meetups that need a plan

The standing coffee, the annual trip — the ones that only happen if someone plans them. Be that someone.

The tools don't matter (a note, a spreadsheet, a reminder). The practice does: staying close is something you do on purpose, or it quietly stops happening.